Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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