one two three fourrrrnication!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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