I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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