who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
