I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
