Its about making memories worth repressing
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
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