You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
