I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
