I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
