somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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