We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize