he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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