is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
