Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
