I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
