lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
