I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
