Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
