I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
