I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
