remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
