how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
