some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
