nut hugger
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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