Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize