Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish i was in the wii world.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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