And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
