I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
