I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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