margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
