there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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