I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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