If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
