He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i believe in u and ur pee
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