I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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