I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
