Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My life is pants optional.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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