i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize