I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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