No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
