idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
