Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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