we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
