Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
