Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
