Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
