Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
