she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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