Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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