is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
