just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
