we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
