My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
