i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
