we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
