i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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