do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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