Jerry, you need to find god
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
