drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
