bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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