Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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