it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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