Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
