we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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