I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
