she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
