we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
