My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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