no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
