I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
